How To Talk Dirty: 9 Tips Straight From Sex Experts

Choose a Girl

Make a mutual agreement to take risks and accept each other, no matter what you say. Give each other full permission to experiment without shame, for the betterment of your relationship. For example, you might have a female partner with a relatively high sex drive, but she only seems to get revved up when she’s “in the mood”, and you’re always left guessing as to when that is.

• If your partner is talking or doing something and you try to say something, it’ll go unheard.
• I’ll control your kegel kitty during our dinner date tonight.
• Describe your mood, your current environment, the feel of your new underwear or sex toy, a sexual fantasy, or your favorite sexual activity.
• When it comes to erotic talk, there’s no “right way.” It may be that one person in the duo is skilled and enthusiastic about describing body parts while the other prefers to stay quiet as they’re seduced.
• It will change you, your partner’s (and your neighbours’) lives forever.

How can I feel less awkward talking dirty?

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Keep it simple and short

Most people feel completely embarrassed and ridiculous at the thought of trying it, because they’ve never been taught the basic guidelines. When you get into bed, transform yourself into someone new and sexy. You could be a coy sex kitten or a bossy dominatrix, or replay the lead characters of the Beauty and the Beast or a movie. Of course, that doesn’t mean you should say anything you’re not comfortable with but find the right piece of middle ground that makes you horny when you say it.

If you feel awkward or get lost, noise is always a great idea.

Like all skills, it takes practice and requires immersing yourself further in the world of erotic storytelling. The exercise above has already given you a base for creating your very own dirty talk word bank. A word bank is a list of your preferred naughty verbiage, whether words or phrases, that you can pull from to take the pressure off figuring it out in the heat of the moment.

• What parts of your body feel maybe unexpectedly erotically charged for you?
• “Let me know when you’re close and I’ll go down on you.” Unorthodox approach, but I’d, personally, honor this man with an award for his generosity.
• We’re all a bit sexually repressed in this country, and it takes some effort to undo that.
• We’ve all got the power to explore a new sexual side of ourselves.

Next time I see you, I want to be as dirty as possible. All I can think of is sitting on top of your hard cock. I love sucking your cock and I’m going to lick it clean.

I was dripping wet.” Dr. Tara particularly recommends this method as a means of sexting, too. The brain’s hearing center consists of the temporal lobe, the frontal lobe, and the occipital lobe. The sounds of erotic talk, as all sounds, are processed in this hearing center, and activate other parts of the brain after being processed. “Practice expressing your needs and wants and encourage your partner to do the same and be ready to deliver the goods.” The brain and how it organizes the rest of our erogenous zones is further proof of the crucial role of the brain in determining both sex drive and sexual pleasure. So we asked relationship experts for their best tips on how to talk dirty, plus dirty-talk ideas for both beginners and seasoned pros alike looking to take their game to the next level.

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Step outside yourself by creating a character or persona to inhabit while you’re learning how to talk dirty. Creating a little bit of distance, Manta says, might make people feel safer. To take the guesswork out of what turns your partner on, Dr. Jansen says coupled clients can create “Yes, No, Maybe” fantasy lists as an exercise. This also helps to clear up whether what you both do or say going forward has enthusiastic consent. Having this simple exchange out loud will evaporate a huge amount of anxiety around your future dirty talking sex-capades. If you’re feeling this resistance, you need to intentionally set up a safe container for dirty talk with your partner before you begin actually exploring it.